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WEEP NOT JULIUS: MOURN YOUR DYING NATION

2026-05-01

In the past few days, weeping has made headlines beyond funerals: ‘Wife slaps cheating husband to tears,’ or ‘Kejetia Market in Flames, traders in tears.’ Of higher news value are celebrity tears, where the journalist is even compelled to add the expression,‘wept uncontrollably.’ Here the big man himself may have been caught weeping (maa maa maa) like a baby. Men’s tears at women’s funeral are often unknown except for widowers, whom custom permits to shed a few tears to appease relations of the dearly departed. A widower’s dry eyes could raise suspicion particularly where cause of death is unknown. ‘Barima Nsu, Barima Nsu’ (A True Man Weeps Not) is often the caution thrown by women who pretend to console men crying, but really seek to arouse more tears. Whatever you do however, please avoid crocodile tears or else you may be whisked away to Paga for verification, a kind of VAR. Remember the famous crocodile pond which I visited in 2017 while on a formal visit to Bolgatanga Polytechnic (now University). I did so partly with the eyes of a tourist, but also out of curiosity to witness crocodile tears. Were the tears of Debrah borrowed from Paga reptiles? The problem with Julius Debrah is indeed shedding somebody’s tears in her absence. Dr Debrah seemed to say, “I do hereby weep uncontrollably on behalf of the CEO of Free Zones Board who made that offensive utterance, but has been unwilling to cry. I hereby wear her eyeballs to weep,' Julius seemed to be saying at his 60th birthday key soap concert. Seeing a big man publicly cry in a celebratory garment is rare. In truth, though Julius refused to let bygones be bygones. His Government currently grappling with a reset agenda knows the political implications of offending a church leader who had millions of following. Votes in Election 2028 may indeed flee ‘Pentecostally’ if damage caused is not swiftly controlled. The public tears of Julius Debrah, a likely contestant for the presidency, thus had the trappings of Paga reptiles; it was meant to seal the deal and clear the path for a presidency he eyes. Very few however stop to ask the genesis of all this drama. On 22nd April, Apostle Dr Nyamekye, Chairman of Church of Pentecost in his State of the Church address lamented how polluted rivers had adversely affected Christian baptism in mining communities. Within a day or two of this, the CEO of the Free Zones Board issued a rather combative rebuttal: ‘If the church leader continues to behave like a politician, we will deal with him as a politician.’ The negative public uproar this triggered across the country compelled the Chief of staff to quickly transform his 60th Birthday into a tearful anniversary, where he apologized profusely. But tears of a chief of staff would have been more patriotic if they were in response to the nation’s wider tragedy. Consider this excerpt from a viral essay by Tony Asare: ‘From Bekwai through Brofoyedru, Ofoase Ayirebi, to Oda to Nsawam and back to Accra; every single water body was the color of clay. Thick. Dying, Poisoned. Dead. Shame. This is not water. This is running mercury, cyanide, and the fluid corpse of a nation flowing into the sea. Galamsey has won. Ghana has lost the fight.’ It is such a tragedy that qualifies to move a Chief of Staff to public tears, not a CEO’s imprudent rebuttal to wise words. Read also a recent letter by the Pediatric Society of Ghana addressed to His Excellency the President, lamenting a nation’s assault on her children. An excerpt: ‘Pre-natal exposure to mercury is associated with irreversible brain damage…It increases the burden of chronic diseases, infections and malnutrition of children. Galamsey isn’t just an environmental problem; it is a slow assault on the Ghanaian child…’ Julius, this is what should draw tears from you and the staff you lead. Your Boss indeed confesses that some of your staff are complicit in the assault on Ghana. Julius, weep not for rude CEOs; but cry for Mother Ghana: ‘The fluid corpse of a nation flowing into the sea.’ kyankah@ashesi.edu.gh Visit: kwesiyankahwrites.com

KWEKU ANANSE PROPHETS AND DECEMBER ELECTIONS

2026-04-22

The recent Founders Day was rather uneventful since nobody found a founder in the neighborhood. The most I heard were vain discussions on ‘finder,’ ‘founder,’ ‘founders.’ I even overheard a young nationalist playing with the word ‘find’ and closing the debate by drawing attention to lost and found items in our 4th Republic. These include the word ‘founder’ which was founded by ex-President Atta Mills, to distinguish Osagyefo from others who lost their way in the search for Ghana’s independence. The Day indeed was rather drowned in the affairs of Kweku Ananse prophets who were busy predicting the winner among two-and-half contestants currently eyeing Ghana’s presidency. But we have come a long way since independence. While election years in other places come to life with an avalanche of scientific polls a few months to elections, we here in Ghana could be moving towards a new slogan: ‘One Party, One Prophet’. Hardly a day passes without a newly bleached face emerging in the social media, white towel on shoulder, pacing back and forth the dais and yelling a prophecy that could well be an inaugural lecture. The Good Lord has spoken to him, as he did four years ago, and has said that ‘Come December 7... come December 7, uh uh..’ the audience wait with bated breath. ‘I say come December 7...,’ he wipes sweat off his forehead. ‘The new president will be JDM... oh sorry for the tongue slip; God tells me ‘It is Possibooor, It is possibooor.’ In other words, God is even familiar with the party slogan ‘It is Possibooor.’ The congregation yells in appreciation of a good prophecy. ‘I tell you this. If DMB does not win, please burn my church.’ The meeting is drowned in shouts of hallelujah and praise the Lord. ‘I say burn my church if DMB does not win.’ Prophet says this, knowing very well that he has no church building of his own, and takes refuge on Sundays in Class Five of AEDA primary school. Comes another Prophet WG, in whose year God has whispered ‘it will be JDM.’ God may have forgotten to add the 24-hour slogan: ‘If JDM does not become President after 2024 elections,’ says the Prophet, ‘Kill me.... ‘ he yells on the dais, looking over his shoulders for safety exits. Not long after comes international Prophet Conteh of Sierra Leone saying: ‘A party in Ghana that goes by the name NDC will win an election, and the declaration date is December 10, 2024,’ he says. But JDM should act with speed if he cherishes favorable prophecies, in the words of a British-Zimbabwean prophet whose surname is incidentally ‘Angel.’ He warns JDM ahead of the December Polls: ‘Stop joking with me, and call me in ten days otherwise you will lose...’ Eii, are prophecies now enabled by phone calls and collection bowls? All this while Ghana our dear country awaits the Father of all state prophets. He has played hide-and-seek with the presidency for a while, but now steps forward as the world awaits his spiritual verdict. According to him, he has already determined the winner but keeping it to himself to confuse copycats. He has finally released his golden verdict which is now Breaking News: ‘JDM will challenge the results at the Supreme Court.’ Yet the prophetic profession has now become a hazardous job. One Prophet Kusi, Boateng reports of threats after he dropped his spiritual bombshell recently: ‘An unknown number has called to threaten me... some people don’t fear...but I repeat: His Excellency DMB shall become the President of Ghana, and I dare anyone who wants to point the gun at me.’ Ghana’s political prophecies have gone international, and we could finally become the spiritual capital of the world. Our national prophet has been extra busy of late, and has claimed that a delegation from President Joe Biden recently travelled to Ghana over a distance of 5000 miles, and reached out to him for spiritual assistance. They were asked to return later. Now that Joe Biden has dropped out and been replaced, it is uncertain if Kamala Harris will follow Biden’s footsteps and report to Reverend Owusu Bempah this Sunday.